bret and his friends decided to come back down to zion, and then go to st. george to a concert with the girls working at the zion resort. i was really, really, really excited. this was my chance to get to know bret better! the night they arrived, bret and i talked a little, but it was difficult. i am really bad at conversations, and especially with someone who i don’t really know but i like. bret wasn’t helping much either. luckily, there was a huge group of us, and we ended up sitting around a bonfire singing songs.
the next day we went down to st. george. i was successful in managing to get in the same car as bret, but that was about it. right before we got to the entrance to the park, i was asked to drive so we could get in free (employee=free admission). i’d be more than willing, but the car was a manual, and i decided it would be less embarrassing if i just declined and said i couldn’t drive. (i promise, it would have been bad if i had tried to drive, since i haven’t driven anything but an automatic for years.) another girl drove, and i felt like curling up in a little ball and hiding. bret probably thinks i’m lame and that i can’t do anything!!!! (later on in the fall when we were dating, i asked him about this and he didn’t even remember it. so much for worrying.) as we continued driving, a weak conversation occurred between bret and the other guys and me about the type of music i liked. i failed at making myself seem like i actually had a personality, and also failed at explaining what music i liked. then the conversation switched back to just the guys, and i spent most of the drive smiling and nodding.
when we got to st. george we had some time to just sit around and talk before the concert started. this was both fun and not fun. i still was having difficulty talking to bret. the only thing that saved me was bret was trying to talk to me too. we discussed our cameras for a long time (exciting, i know, but at least it was a common interest). it was also during this conversation that bret showed me his bent little pinky fingers, which gave me a good excuse to touch his hand. other than that, we were really having problems. so much obvious awkwardness everywhere. i think these next two photos effectively illustrate how awkward we were (looking at these photos is soooo painful):
when the concert started things got a little better because all we had to do was dance/move around in a packed crowd of people. bret denies that he was following me, but he was definitely right next to me the entire concert. i know he was; i was paying attention, and i was moving enough that i don’t think it just happened out of chance. but he still denies it. on our way back to the car, we had a great one-on-one conversation about how sweaty people get at concerts, especially indoor ones, and how you have no idea if the sweat on you is yours or a hundred other people’s sweat. after a stop at in-and-out (nothing interesting occurred), car seating was being shuffled, and i made some excuse for why i didn’t want to sit in the front seat on the way home. my request was honored, and i got to sit next to bret the whole drive back to zion!!!! another girl was riding in the same car as me now, and she started a very interesting/strange conversation on dating and the differences between guys and girls (both in dating and in other things). i didn’t add much because i didn’t know what to say, there wasn’t much room in the conversation for me, and it was a ridiculous conversation.
also, i was a little upset. sure, i knew that talking for a few seconds and writing on each other’s facebook walls doesn’t really let you get to know the other person at all, but i had really felt like bret could be more than a friend. now i was even doubting that we could even be very good friends. so far, there was nothing that i didn’t like about bret, in fact, i still really liked him, even more than before. i just felt like there was no way that he would ever like me. i was just too awkward and socially inept. looking back, it was awkward because we didn’t know each other at all, and we had barely ever talked to each other in person, yet we both liked each other. and everyone else knew we liked each other too. does this not sound like a recipe for awkwardness? plus we were both self-conscious and were having difficulty believing that the other might actually like us. the experience did end on a hopeful note, however. we were invited to provo (because it was now our turn to visit). i immediately decided to go: a. because i wanted to get out of southern utah, and b. i would be with bret, and even though things weren’t looking good right now, i wasn’t ready to give up!
bret and i met in zion national park, july 11, 2009. i worked at a resort there last summer, and so did one of bret’s friends, hailey. she invited him and some other guys to come down and visit. there was an extreme shortage of males at the resort (i think all of the male employees either couldn’t speak english or were married or dating someone. extreme shortage.), so before the guys came, hailey was telling all of us that her friends were coming for a few days. hailey especially mentioned to me that there was one guy that she thought would be perfect for me. at that point i decided that i really didn’t need to meet or spend time with any of her friends. i was pretty sure things would get too awkward, and if they didn’t, there really was no point. they’d be here one day and gone the next, and i’d never see them again.
when the guys did come, i spent most of my time away from them like i had planned to (and it wasn’t hard. i was working). it wasn’t until the night that they were leaving that we all finally met. i was in the front desk/gift shop area, and they came in to buy food/drinks for the drive home. i looked them over and decided who was cutest (isn’t that the first thing you do??), and i came to the conclusion that one was pretty cute. too bad i hadn’t been social. they talked with us a little bit and introductions were made. the cute guy came over to me and started asking the basic questions (name, hometown, school, major, etc.). we were still talking when one of the girls came over and interrupted us, handed bret a paper, and said, “here’s a list of all the important people, so you guys can add us on facebook.” of course, i wasn’t on the list since i hadn’t been hanging out with them at all. my initial reaction was wow that was rude, but then bret looked at me, turned the paper towards me, and, with a really cute smile, allowed me to become one of the “important people.” AHHHHH!!!! NOW I HAD A CONNECTION WITH THE REALLY CUTE BOY!!!! WE COULD BECOME FACEBOOK FRIENDS!!!!! and that’s about all that happened. the guys left right after, and i probably spent a grand total of 45 seconds talking to bret. oh, and also i sent an email to my mom saying i had met my soulmate. (really, i did. but it was all a joke.)
shortly, bret added me as a friend on facebook, and i was more than pleasantly surprised when he wrote on my wall. (you have to remember, i am in the middle of nowhere, really isolated, with no guys to flirt with.) here’s what we said for the next few days:
07.13 bret: how goes the photo taking?
07.14 tearsa: the photo taking is going swell. in our 50 second conversation you failed to mention anything about you and photography. i’ve been looking around your site and you have some really nice photos there. i also really like your space & landscape images. (really, they’re amazing. you should look at them: bretlittle.com. also, i was super impressed that he hadn’t mentioned his photography. as soon as they find out i’m a photographer, most people tell how they really love taking photos or how their sister’s aunt’s husband is a photographer, and it just gets a little annoying.)
07.15 bret: hahaha, sorry…honestly though…i just checked your blog out, i don’t think my stuff compares. so are you generally pretty busy all day taking photos for guests and such? you ever get a chance to go and take photos around zion?
07.15 tearsa: actually, i’m hardly ever busy taking pictures of guests. so unbusy that they have me working housekeeping a lot of the time. i actually haven’t taken any pictures of zion yet because…i’m not much of a nature photographer. i know, it’s a pathetic excuse, but it’s the only one i have.
07.17 bret: hey, i don’t have flickr…so can’t comment on them directly, but these are awesome! you ever use photoshop with your work…or is that cheating 
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2086/2137572518_9218a34c17.jpg
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2044/2136791287_88eba8817b.jpg
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3071/2310762293_31ef639ac8.jpg
07.17 tearsa: thanks bret. photoshop is probably on of the greatest things ever. i definitely use it.
07.19 bret: hey, i hear there is a sweet concert happening in st. george this weekend. we are all thinking about coming down for the party!!
07.20 tearsa: yes! come! it’s going to be awesome. (oh please please please come!!!!!!)
07.22 bret: so it is official! we are headed down and will be there late tomorrow evening! see you all then!
and the rest is for post #2–the second (and really awkward) meeting.
apparently i’m not good at balancing 100 million things. that’s why i haven’t posted anything here for awhile.
so here’s what i’ve been up to:
- school. i’m back in provo, and it’s great. except today it was really cold
- my apartment is a little ghetto, but i like some parts of it. like the large-ish living room.
- i’ve been doing a really good job with cooking. normally all i eat is pbj and ramen, but this year i’ve actually made meals. multiple times per week even. crazy, huh?
- i’m taking a black and white film class where we use really huge cameras that i fail at using. it’s really confusing and technical. hopefully once i start using the cameras more i’ll get the hang of it.
- the other photo class i’m taking is intro to digital. we had our first real assignment yesterday. (see image 1)
- it’s autumn. bret and i went somewhere into the mountainous area of provo last weekend and took pictures. it was glorious. (see images 2, 3, & 4)
- i went fishing, and i gutted a fish. true story. (see images 4 & 5)
hopefully this fulfills your request:
ok, just looking at this picture makes me sick. if you look at the bottom, you can tell i’m right on the ledge. basically instant death.
last night shawn and i hiked cable mountain. it’s called that because at the end is an old cable system that was built in the early 1900′s to haul lumber down into zion canyon. it was closed in 1930, and this is all that’s left:
there were a bunch of nails sticking out of the wood on the cable system, so i hooked my camera to them and we took this picture on self-timer. it wasn’t really the sturdiest setup, and that’s why the picture is incredibly crooked. probably one of the stupidest things i’ve done in a while, considering had my camera fallen off (which was entirely possible) it would’ve been history.
speaking of being history, shawn and i almost died. there was a rattlesnake on the side of the trail, and i came way too close to stepping on it.
this is why we went in the evening (click to enlarge):
life is great. here’s why:
1. adella, sharon, and i went up to provo for the weekend. i love provo, and a break from the zp was definitely enjoyed and probably needed. can i just say that this weekend is in the top 5 i’ve had all summer? of course i can. it’s true, and it’s my blog. haha suckas! anyway, adella and i spent time with these boys. fun time, fun times. i took some pictures, but film, so i still need to get them developed and scanned. also, i got to spend some time with hannah, which is always good. and…that’s it. i don’t feel like elaborating. ok, well i want to, but i don’t know how to write it without making it sound lame.
2. i have 11 more days until i’m done with work. less than two weeks!!! i’m excited, but there’s still a lot i want to get done before i leave, so i don’t really feel like the remaining time will go by slowly.
3. i received a letter from jericho. i think he must have too much time on his hands because i sent him a letter just a few days ago. people aren’t supposed to respond that fast, are they? and he even sent me pictures! (in case you didn’t know, pictures really are the way to my heart. [and in my world, pictures=photographs])
4. i also got a thank you letter from these people. if my weekend was cake, then that was totally the frosting. except i don’t really like cake or frosting very much. i’d just like to share this part: “you showed such patience with the children–they look great!!” yes, that’s right, i have patience and children photo skills. see mom? i can do this.
ok, now for the decisions part. i’m getting my hair cut when i go home, and i’m trying to decide how short to cut it. it’s getting really annoying, and i miss being able to blow-dry it in 30 seconds. i know how short i want to cut it, but i don’t want to be shunned by the masses. and by masses i mostly mean the male population that seems to think every girl should have super long hair. so here’s the decision: be shunned or have hair i hate. oh so difficult.
last weekend some girls from the zp (including me) and some guys from provo went to a secondhand serenade/parachute concert in st. george. not a super big fan of secondhand serenade, but it was still awesome. as usual, i failed at taking more than just a few pictures, but luckily my friend adella was a little more camera happy. here is one picture that i took, and there rest are her’s:
(basically, there were a lot of high schoolers with band shirts. i’m jealous of their shirts, but not of their high school-ness.)
ok, all the rest of the pictures are by adella. i would just like to point out the guy in the back right with the glasses. i don’t know who he is, but he seems to want to be in the picture. creepy.
here’s the whole group:
natalie, adella, sharon, me, and davis:
secondhand serenade guy:
oh, and i just thought i’d toss in this picture of parachute. album art of gloriousness. lovelovelove this picture:
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